


the stars remind me of you

by CelestialPsyche



Category: EXO (Band), f(x)
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:40:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25188814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelestialPsyche/pseuds/CelestialPsyche
Summary: who knew that a dream would bring so much tears? [a kaistal oneshot]
Relationships: Jung Soojung | Krystal/Kim Jongin | Kai
Kudos: 4





	the stars remind me of you

**Author's Note:**

> hello! this is my first time writing officially so i apologize if there are some parts that may be confusing and there might be some grammatical errors and the quality isn't of its best. i'm open to any suggestions in terms of my writing, so if there are any suggestions about it, please do tell me! thank you :)

_ “can i tell you something?” _

**  
** _“sure. what is it?”_

_ “i love you.” _

_ soojung’s heart fluttered, the feeling so new yet so familiar. she didn’t move, nor did she speak more. instead, she just stood there, gazing upon the eyes that sparkled like the stars in the dead of the night, the eyes that held the most sincerity in every action or statement, the eyes that showed the most love and affection, the eyes that delivered the most emotional messages.  _

_ his eyes, which manifested the truth in his words. _

_ she remained still, smiling earnestly as she reached towards his hands, gently intertwining their fingers. he did the same, resulting in their hands grasping each other’s warmth, as if never wanting to let go. _

_ and she once again looked up, gaze matching those of star-like eyes that held a little universe- that she didn’t mind getting lost into. with locked gazes towards each other, soojung said her answer, and jongin understood, without saying nor realizing it. _

_ their eyes that said the most words, the eyes that expressed unsaid words precisely, perfectly. _

_ ‘i love you too.’ _

and even before she knew it,  her eyes opened. she woke up.

__ and she was back. in her small, dull, yet neat apartment. she slowly sat up, sighing softly as she grabbed her phone, turning it on to check the time.

_ 2:09 AM. _

soojung sighed, staring into nowhere before standing up, leaving the bed after realizing that all signs of fatigue and drowsiness disappeared despite having slept for only an hour and a half. it was the dead of the night of a saturday, anyway. nothing to wake up at dawn for. 

trudging towards her kitchen, she brews herself a cup of green tea before returning to her room, grabbing a journal and a pen on the way. she took a sip from her cup, before settling onto the side of her bed, to where she can see the view of the night stars in the sky. 

she placed her journal on her lap, opening it to an empty page as she grabbed her pen, thinking about what to write. she tried to think for minutes, but nothing ever came up. and soon enough, she closed her journal and huffed, frustrated. 

she placed her journal on her nightstand, beside her cup to which she once again took a sip from. leaning by her wall, she pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them as she stared at the sparkle of the stars in the sky.

she sighs, as she remembers her dream. kim jongin, a kind, honest, understanding man. her best friend, her dance partner, her midnight drinking buddy, her safe haven.

and lastly, the man who had her heart in his fingertips.

he was soojung’s everything. he was the one who soojung ran to when she needed someone to cry on, to comfort, to care, and appreciate her. and so was she to jongin. 

they were almost inseparable, and maybe too inseparable that jongin’s name was slowly being engraved in soojung’s mind and heart.

she didn’t know how and why they were in that situation; a situation of sharing sweet nothings to each other, being a little too sweet with each other, whispering ‘i love yous’ and ‘i miss yous’ out of nowhere, and it made soojung’s heart feel more confused than it already was. 

because after all this time, her feelings for him only grew and grew without her consent, and she wasn’t comfortable with it. she didn’t want her feelings to cloud her mind whenever jongin comes near her, she didn’t want to feel the butterflies in her stomach whenever jongin whispered such sweet words to her, she didn’t want to spend sleepless nights under the thoughts of jongin, and only jongin.

she didn’t like the fact that they share such affection, without anything being made official, but she continued with it. the whole “no-label relationship” lasting for almost a year and a half. yes, feelings were shared but it didn’t really mean that it would always be official. just their own fair share of affection, and it’s good.

until jongin suddenly became distant. avoiding her, not answering her calls and messages, and only sparing a glance at her whenever they cross paths.

and everytime he spares a glance and soojung notices it, her heart becomes hopeful, but with the hope short-lived as the other did not even smile, or greet her. 

just a glance. only a glance. 

and after a while of hoping, of believing, soojung grew tired. she somehow stopped to look forward to the day, hoping that jongin may have replied to her, or greet her whenever they meet. and whenever she wakes up, she just goes on with the day, heart so much less hopeful.

but the thought of jongin would still linger in her mind, even at the smallest bit.

and after some time, she learnt to let go, to set herself free. she left for a different country, without bidding her goodbyes to him, only saying her farewells to a few close friends.

and a few years have already passed, but her feelings remained the same.

looking at the stars still brought the same bittersweet feeling to her heart. staring at the sparkle of each star still brought back the same memories and thoughts, of how beautiful their relationship must’ve been, if things were only a little clearer. questions still flooded her mind, if did the other really catch feelings? or if he did, but it wasn’t as strong as hers to continue the relationship. she didn’t care anymore. she was just grateful to feel his affection even if it lasted only for a short while.

unbeknownst to her, tears have already formed and fell from her eyes from reminiscing. she slowly wiped her tears, a bitter smile forming on her lips.

“how have you been? i hope you’re doing well”, she asks, looking up once again at the sky with her eyes glistening with tears that threatened to fall.

“funny how i still think of you then and there, how the thought of you still brings tears to my eyes, reopening the wound in my heart that was made two years ago”, she added, sighing deeply while not taking her eyes off from the sky.

“funny how i still talk to you when i look at the stars, for they reminded me of you eyes”, she added, chuckling as she rested her chin on her knees.

“how did you have such an effect on me? did you cast a spell on me or something?”, she added, trying to laugh away the tears from her eyes.

“i miss you. so damn much”, she admitted, her voice quivering as a new batch of tears fell from her eyes. 

she looked down, face buried on her arms that rested around her knees, her shoulders shuddering from her endless sniffs, as she continued to sob, her hands gripping the sleeves of her shirt tighter, as if making an attempt to hug herself. she closed her eyes, from the hopes of the tears to stop falling. however, tears only continued to fall, almost drenching the knee of her pajama. she continued like that for minutes, almost an hour sobbing, questioning why she was this affected by a relationship that was never made official or acknowledged.

and as time passed, her eyelids felt heavy, her head pounding from all the crying. soon enough, she fell into slumber, falling onto her pillows, not minding the lamp left on, not minding the unfinished cup of tea, not minding to write when her heart wanted to.

she lets herself fall into deep sleep, for maybe she needed a long rest after enduring everything for a long while.

_ hey, how have you been? _

_ it’s been a while since i was on scene. _

_ hey, do you still look the same? _

_ i hope so, because the stars still remind me of your name. _

_ hey, do you still feel the same for me too? _

_ because i do, no matter how hard i want to forget you. _

_ when will i move on? _

_ a question i ask myself, because even after all these years i’m gone. _

_ maybe it will still take a while for that for me to do, _

_ so until then, the stars will always remind me of you. _


End file.
